This might give some a chuckle

Yes, I know I'm being a cunt posting a private email but...some people!

I'm selling a rack on an online free-ads site for what I know is cheaper than a new one (that I have seen anyway)
I get a message


Hi. Are you sure about the price? A quick search on the internet and you can buy one for ?80...

My reply

Buy one from there then!

Cheeky fuck didn't actually mention the price he was quoting was ex vat ex delivery did he?

Another one yesterday, I've listed some computer spares on Ebay.
Someone has sent a message asking me to cancel his bid as he is now no longer buying a SATA 2 card and wants a SATA 3.
Is this my problem?
Ebay bids are legally binding but the world is full of twats. Try that one down the car auctions and you'll be down the police station.

Anyway my reply:
If you want to retract a bid you don't come to me, you do it properly via the official channels!

So far he has done nothing so when the auction finishes it will go through the unpaid bid system (it's sent at autmomatic on my account at 4 days) and he'll get an unpaid strike.

Another one today - my wife listed some handbags on my Ebay account as she'd used her limit on free listings day.
Someone bid on one (in fact out of 125 items she listed that day only the 4th to have sold)
I get a message on the final day of the auction, 30 minutes before it is due to end (do these cunts imagine we are a company with a customer services department sat there at all hours responding to their bollocks?)

"Hi I'm sorry bit can I cancel this please as my daughter has bidded when I told her she can't have it as already Brought her a make up case for christmas. am sorry. x"

Me....I haven't responded to her semi-literate crap. Is it my problem she has let someone else have access to her account. Is it my fault she cannot control her 'daughter'....what next? Blame it on the dog?

Try reading Ebay policy love. You bid, you pay.

Anyway, it's now gone through the automatic unpaid process and a case has been opened so this morning I receive an email again, to whit:
"Hi I told you already the reason why I don't want this please. Please can I cancel this item. Thankyou kindly"

Oh...you've TOLD me have you?


Yes, we both sit there for an entire weekend listing things on ebay to 1, try to get rid of some stuff and 2, try to make a few quid to stop ourselves going under. Not, as YOU imagine so you can bid on things for fun and then fuck us about.
Pay up, take it on the chin and learn for next time.

And the one last week about the £1 VCR. She didn't fetch in the end either. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!

My question is this. In this world of such absolute fucking useless bell-ends incapable of even the simplest things am I incapable of earning anything resembling a living?

You don't half get'em Meldrew.

I think I must be a twat magnet or something. Have it stamped on my forehead. Had a guy coming to fetch something last night, said I'd meet him at Morrison t omake it easy for him and also so he didn't come here. I get about 4 phonecalls emails and texts throughout the day (leave me alone!!!) then the call when he 'arrives'. I go to the supermarket, drive around the area I asked him to be, where is he?? Phoned him up. 'I'm right here near the cashpoints where you said'. 'I'm right at the cashpoints on the zebrz crossing I say, no sign of the car you said you'd be driving'. 'Are you sure?? He says, 'Yes I'm fucking sure where I am I say', 'There must be 2 sides to the supermarket he says', 'WTF are you going on about' I say. 'Where are you??'.' Oh hang on he says, let me look at the sat nav and I'll call you back'. 'OK'. 5 minutes later it transpires he's gone to a completely different town! FUCKING IDIOT.
So then I tell him to leave where he is and go to the train station in Chesterfield. 'Which one?'...'Oh FFS, you really are thick aren't you, how many train statino do you suppose there are in Chesterfield FFS!'.
So then I have to drive to the train station to eventually sort things out.

Then I've got some guy stalking me over a monitor. Starting bid £4.99. He's hunted my number down on the net, and phones while the auctiobn is still on 'I will give you £4.99 and collect it today', Oh will you now.
Now he's emailing ' the auction has finished I will collect it today', OK I say, 'It's on Gumtree for £25'.
He says 'It didn't go for £4.99, I will pay you £5 and collect it today'.
FUCK OFF!


And now my wife's started giving me shit as soon as I've gotten out of bed this morning. So yes, I've done the usual and now I'm the horrible nasty lout who's always shouting at her. No I can't hear your drivel when you're in the bathroom upstairs having a wash and I'm downstairs in a sound-proof room you stupid fucking cow!

I've got a crapload of stuff to get done and it has to be done by Sunday, without fail as the place is still like a building site and my parents are coming up to foist a load of crap on us out of my Grandfather's loft that we don't want - it's to sell on Ebay....

OH JESUS FUCKING CHRIST I'M GOING COMPLETELY FUCKING INSANE.

LMFAO!