Twat Of The Day

So who is the twat that has pissed you off the most today..

Mine would be the guy who took the piss taking ages to fit some brake pads on the g/f's car... Fucking TWAT

about every Yellow Pages customer I spoke to today

Whoever it was that entered the data into a Christmas card spreadsheet, ignoring all spacing and punctuation in the message column and making me re-do it all despite being snowed the fuck under with other crap. Wanker.

The dickhead whos wheel trim came off on the A500 and crossed the central reservation, bounced, turned and smashed right into the front bumper my car!

Fortunately there was absolutely no damage whatsoever but when it hit and exploded I seriously thought I was going to have a large repair bill...phew!


Twat!

Todays twat is the delivery driver that turned up in the 10 mins I was out at the shop, so now I have to drive 25 miles round trip 2moz just to pick it up.. TWAT!!

The twat who invented the alarm clock which ment I had to get up for work . TWAT!!!

The bus driver that pulled out in front of the car in front of me who after colliding with said car simply drove away as if nothing had happened.

Twat.

Me for putting gravy granules in my mug instead of coffee

Pat wrote:Me for putting gravy granules in my mug instead of coffee

One of many twats today who insist on treating a single entry roundabout like a double....I make a point of sitting right in the middle so they can't get past either side and take sheer delight in telling them it's a single entry lane whilst giving them the wanker gesture.

Twats!

Pat wrote:Me for putting gravy granules in my mug instead of coffee

milky gravy

The twat who just drove past our house with what sounded like fucking gangnam style.blasting out .

Hooray double post . Well done me

daver wrote:Hooray double post . Well done me

It gets to us all in the end

Very true and this new phone don't help

Yesterday I gave away some acoustic foam on Freecycle. 4 people got in touch. First one wanted me to take measurements etc (no! it's free, I'm not fucking about!).

Anyway, about 3 others got in touch and how the thing works is not that simple/transparent so I try to do it on first come, first served basis.

Person 3 sent me a nice message re his son going to do music tech at college so I said he could have it if person 2 didn't come to collect, as often happens. Yes, you give things of value away, for free, and often these pricks not only expect you to waiting in for them when THEY decide at their convenience but then they don't turn up anyway.

But this time, person two did turn up, took the foam away and was very happy.

So I went back to person three and thought 'I know, I also have 2 sheets of rockwool to get rid of'. Now this stuff isn't cheap, two panels made from the same stuff comes to over £100. So I offered the two sheets to the guy, also sent a link to GIK acoustics so he could see what I was on about and told him where on youtube he could find instructions to make DIY panels. Am I doing him a REAL favour here?

Apparently not

'While I appreciate the link I do not want your old building materials for my studio. Why would I when I want foam? If you know where I can get foam or a supplier then please send a link'

FFS You can lead a horse to water. Foam is a fucking useless waste of money in the application that most people use it in, it doesn't work and I just don't understad the world's obsession with it and no, I'm not going to wate my time searching the internet for a supplier for you, you lazy fuck! You can get it off Ebay quite cheap if you bother looking but I know you're wanting it for free, you pikey bastard!

So not only a twat but a
STUPID FUCKING TWAT

Yestderday's twat was the old cow at the dole office.

I'm getting no benefits - I'm getting my NI stamp paid which is a credit for about £2.65 a week. It costs more than that to get there.

Anyway, I hate going to the place, I get nothing from it and well, I'm just raping the state aren't I as it's such a barrel of fucking laughs having virtually no income.

So...over Christmas you don't have to go in for 4 weeks.

They've set up this shitty website that is pittiful, called Universal Dogshit. They make you promise to log into it 5 times a week. I was unable to log in and their 'customer service dept' failed to get back to me after three attempts. So strike number 1 as I'd not logged in 20 times.

Strike number two, I'd apparently promised to do 27 things a week - I do that easily. But not only that but for example every time I receive an email alert from cv library etc on my phone and go and look at it - a 30 second job, I'm supposed to write it down on a sheet of paper. In fact now, with their site they want to you to log in and log it all there!

FFS!

So, I'm out and about, receive email, look at email, bin it or click link, read it , bin it. Then I have to go home, log into my PC and fill in their shite?
I told her about the problems with their site and that, under my own steam I'd eventually managed to get into it.

So what I do is on 1 row on their sheet put 'looked at daily received bulletins' - I get about 10 of the things a day from various sites that i also have my cv uploaded to.

"You have failed to meet your KPIs" She says.
"Are you having a laugh?" I say.
"1 It has been CHRISTMAS, there has been nothing about, the bulletins contain the same thing EVERY day. 2. There was a job on your site but your site made it impossible to apply so I had to find it elsewhere, advertised by 4 different agencies of course, and apply there, plus my mother in law died so there was all that too"
"It says you promised to do 27 things and it is called JobSEEKERS"
"I'm not on JobSEEKERS!!!"
"Even though you don't receive it, you are on it"
"Oh FFS! It costs me more to get here than the bloody credit, really raping the state aren't I?"
"You can sign off if you want!"
"Why didn't you apply for the recommended job on Universal Dogshit?"
"1. It was in Bradford, 2. There was no mention of pay - the further you travel the more you need to earn 3. It required 17th Edition wiring regs which I don't have and 4. by the time I'd managed to log into the site the bloody thing had expired anyway"
"Go over there and fill in this form explaining what you have done, you need to list the 27 things"
"What 27 per week for 4 weeks? That's 108 things...I can't remember what I did yesterday, never mind last month"
"Go over there and list them"
"What? You want me to make a load of crap up?"
"If you want to continue to receive benefit.."
"BENEFIT??? WHAT BENEFIT??? I GET FUCK ALL"
"You receive a credit"
"A credit for what?? The PONZI scheme???"
She looks at me completly blank
"I've had enough, I'm not sitting here once a fortnight with you trying to make me feel bad or guilty for coming and, signing a piece of paper and receiving fuck all, sign me off."
I signed and dated the piece of paper, filled the reason in for leaving as 'load of shite'
and chucked the paper back at her
"There, youve got what you wanted. You've got a result. One more off the figures. Just buy me a pizza when you see me in the street".

Then was escorted to the door by the security guard for saying it was a 'bloody joke'



FUCKING BRAINLESS PENPUSHING TWAT

I can see myself having arguements with these fuckers soon as I have been booted off ESA onto JSA and have to go through all this shit too...

I might look for jobs (Robbing banks, Post Offices and little old ladies)

This country and all these bloody rules and regulations are the pits

wheres Guy Fawkes when you want him !!!

MrPickle wrote:I can see myself having arguements with these fuckers soon as I have been booted off ESA onto JSA and have to go through all this shit too...

I might look for jobs (Robbing banks, Post Offices and little old ladies)

As lOng as you write down every time you breathe in and out you'll be ok. None of its designed for normal people of average intelligence who don't actually want to go there. It's all designed with the thought that everyone that goes there is doing it on purpose and should be punished for it. Daily Mail rules.

The politicians who are calling for a 32% pay rise while cutting everything else. Now we know where the tax on fuel goes. WANKERS