101 things to do with a blood sausage

25 take it to a Jewish or Muslim wedding

26. Put it on display in Tate Modern
27. Stick it on the wall in a recording studio: it's about as much fucking use as foam

28. Celebrate it's birthday but leave the party half way through and never return.

29. Hit it with a stout stick

30. Indoctrinate it in Christian theology then tell it God does not exist

31. Open a door near it.

32. Convert it to mp3

33 take it for a Thai massage

Tie it to a pet pig

35. Stab at it with a stabber.

36. Sit it down and have a good strong word with it

37 plant it in the garden and grow some more

38, Hide portrait of The Fallen Madonna with the Big Boobies inside it.

39. Register it as a member of your household so you can claim more benefit

40 put some arms on it so it can post on here

41 Stick it up an exhaust pipe

42 call shep and go walking over hills and valleys

43 Take it to old McDonalds farm

44. Start a porno website with it as the main feature

45 Teach it to ski and enter it into the men's downhill

46. Wearing a striped jumper and a beret put the sausage, along with a string of onions, in your bicycle basket and pretend you are a Frenchman

47 Take it to work and show it what you do for a living

Dress it in white and marry it and live happily ever after

49: Use it as a hammer

50. Slice it, say it's mandy and sell it to your friends for £10 a pop