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The sick note thread

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Post  daver Sun Jan 27, 2013 3:23 am

Sorry I won't be in today as I have a varuker on my penis
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Post  Dan Sun Jan 27, 2013 3:56 am

I'm sorry but I won't be attending school today as I turned into a cake and cream pudding during the night and was eaten alive by my younger sister only an hour ago.

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Post  daver Sun Jan 27, 2013 4:09 am

Dan wrote:I'm sorry but I won't be attending school today as I turned into a cake and cream pudding during the night and was eaten alive by my younger sister only an hour ago.


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Post  daver Sun Jan 27, 2013 6:37 am

Sorry I won't be in today as I was mauled by a ferocious frog while out bog snorkeling last night
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Post  Dan Sun Jan 27, 2013 6:51 am

So sorry but I won't be in school today because I'm on fire.


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Post  daver Sun Jan 27, 2013 6:53 am

Sorry I won't be in today because I'm out
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Post  Dan Sun Jan 27, 2013 6:59 am

Sorry but I won't be at school today due to the fact that I was swooped away by a golden eagle and flown to its nest in Middlesex.


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Post  daver Sun Jan 27, 2013 7:04 am

Sorry I won't be in school today as I'm a 57 year old high court judge
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Post  daver Sun Jan 27, 2013 7:07 am

Sorry I won't be in school today as the court order says I'm not aloud within a mile of it
Signed j. Savile
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Post  Pat Sun Jan 27, 2013 7:37 am

Sorry i won't be in school today as i haven't been born yet The sick note thread 1688809149
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Post  daver Sun Jan 27, 2013 8:46 pm

Sorry I won't be I school today as aliens came round for dinner last night and then abducted me
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Post  Dan Mon Jan 28, 2013 12:30 am

Pat wrote:Sorry i won't be in school today as i haven't been born yet The sick note thread 1688809149

The sick note thread 3562723908
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Post  Alan Bstard Mon Jan 28, 2013 1:59 am

Sorry I won't be in school today as I dropped some butter off my toast onto my penis. As I tried to rub it off I discovered it felt very nice and I went all squidgy
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Post  daver Mon Jan 28, 2013 2:03 am

Sorry I won't be in school today as the dog ate my alarm clock
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Post  Dan Mon Jan 28, 2013 6:55 am

I'm afraid I won't be attending class today as my grandmother has been arrested for "being an old bitch" and I have to take her ashes to the police station.

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Post  MrPickle Mon Jan 28, 2013 7:26 am

I'm sorry I wont be in work today, I haven't got a job..
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Post  Alan Bstard Mon Jan 28, 2013 8:33 am

Sorry i won't be in today: it was a toss up between a day of excruciating boredom playing on the xbox or coming into work. The boredom won.
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Post  daver Mon Jan 28, 2013 6:35 pm

Sorry I won't be in today but I can't remember where or why The sick note thread 4160949014
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Post  Alan Bstard Mon Jan 28, 2013 7:49 pm

Sorry I won't be in today as I'm going round to your house to shag your wife
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Post  daver Mon Jan 28, 2013 11:31 pm

Sorry I won't be in today as I'm busy writing sick notes for all these people
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Post  MrPickle Tue Jan 29, 2013 6:44 am

I won't be in today, as my dog ate my face.
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Post  Dan Tue Jan 29, 2013 8:18 am

Haha! Loving this thread. The sick note thread 3562723908


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Post  Alan Bstard Tue Jan 29, 2013 6:33 pm

Won't be in today: tripped on one of the kids toys and got my cock jammed in the Hoover tube
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Post  Pat Tue Jan 29, 2013 8:32 pm

I won't be in work today
as i broke my big toe on a sausage sandwich

Sadly a true story The sick note thread 803743774
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Post  Dan Tue Jan 29, 2013 10:23 pm

The sick note thread 3562723908
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